Thursday, April 15, 2010

Once You Go Fat...TNT Theory #1

A text message between Trixie and Tess.  This is where all of their most brillant conversations take place.


One afternoon, in a moment of weakness, Tess says to Trixie "I'm starving!  Well, not literally, but you know.  I feel a stop through the drive thru calling my name.  Seriously, McDonald's is saying "Tess, you want fries with that shake?" 
To which Trixie responded, "Yes, YOU DO want fries with that Kardashian-ghetto-booty-shake that all the men love." 

"I'm hungry too!  I ate my lunch and my afternnon snack at the same time.  Not good."  She continued, "If the world was populated with only black men we would be the most desirable women on the planet!" 

Tess thought that one over for a minute and replied "you've definitely got a point there...it's all about perspective really.  Maybe I should just slap some Derrion or Apple Bottom Jeans on this ghetto booty and call it good?!" 

Trixie said, "yes!  That is the answer to our problems.  Now we just need the boots with the fur."  She then followed up with this grim light on the subject..."Unfortunately, Rob is white and is currently dating a girl with no arse at all."

*Tess inserted that she was playing some Flo Rida in honor of all the ghetto booties out there*

Tess says, "I think we could convert Rob to the ghetto booty."  Trixie concurs, "Yes, Rob just needs to be educated in the finer points of a voluptuous woman." 

"Voluptous women rock...if you know what I mean...and I think you do", adds Tess...
"once you go fat you'll never go back."

Trixie: "Did you stop by McDonald's?"
Tess:  "No.  Drove by at break-neck speeds to keep my car from swerving in the drive-thru.  You?"
Trixie: "No.  I'll be strong and keep driving."
Tess:  "Yes.  Stay strong.  You can do it."
Trixie: "I did it."
Tess:  "Way to go. We rock."

5 comments:

TwitardedMom said...

Too funny. I go to Mickey Dee's way more than I should. It is soo close to my job.

TwiGurl said...

Hilarious, girlz! Love it to death! Posted a little thing on my sidebar to help you guys get your contest on the road! I started on the City of Bones Reading Schedule! So, please, check it out! And, tell others! Thanks, love ur guyz' blog to geath so far!

Mary said...

wooooooohooooooooooo you go girls :)

I can often be found singing along to Sir Mixalot on my iPod. That tune never fails to make me smile
x

Iva said...

LOL!

twigirl_world said...

I love that you busted out some oldies today. I love this post!! I'm a TwiMom and I will NEVER look like Kristen.
Its difficult to be a mom and say no 1000x a day to a McD's request from one of the kids.
I try to avoid that place like the plague but there are nights when I am literally too dead tired to attempt to make anything or we are running errands and we end up at that horrid place.
So when I meet Rob in RL I hope he's okay w/ a lil extra junk in the trunk :) *giggles*