Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Rob's Birthday Blog Train : Day 3 - Gifts to Rob

Oh, Rob Rob Rob (practicing for later)...what do you get a person who has everything they could possibly want? 

Success? Check.
Fame? Check.
Hot ass girlfriend? Check.
Talent? Check check.
Good looks? Check check check.
Beanies? Check.
RayBans? Check.
A shirt that says "Get Off My Dick"? Check.
A trip around the world? Check.
An Elephant? Check.

I'm not powerful enough to give you the things you probably really want.  Like making the pappz leave you alone...and I can't change the fact that your face is so well known. 

If I could grant you a superpower, it would be the power to be invisible.

But if I got the chance to give you one thing.  It would be something that combines my likes with your likes.

I would channel my best RKelly and in grand-karaoke-off-key-pitchy-style, I would sing Bump N Grind...for you, for your birthday.  Then we could kick back at the bar, you could have a Heineken...I'd take a Captain and Coke.  I would also use my kung-foo skillz on anyone who tried to interrupt your R&R.  I'm not above cutting a bitch...especially when it comes to you.
It would be bliss.

♥Tess

Next stop:
Pattinson Post http://www.pattinsonpost.com/Trixie & Tess

6 comments:

MiMi said...

He has a shirt that says, "Get off my dick?!" OMG.

TongueTwied said...

Excellent!
I think we all have shared ideas about what Rob would like to have and I bet he would love it!

RobzSinger said...

he does have that t-shirt...what else can one ask for?
hilarious.

;)

love it!

UtterlyAbsurd Bella said...

Um Robz....a shirt that say "Get ON my dick"! LOL!!!!

Tess - Rob should totes get that night out with you girl, because you would have his BACK! :) Great gift!
xo
Marie

Impulsive Addict said...

You are a MESS! This was hilarious!!

There ain't nothin' wrong with a little bump and grind...

Kelly said...

See Tess I know we were kindred spirits :) I have set many an envening sail with the Captain and Coke... or the Captain and Ginger to shake things up...

Let me know when you need help opening that can of whoop azz.. I can totally pop a top on a biatch when need be!