Oh, Rob Rob Rob (practicing for later)...what do you get a person who has everything they could possibly want?
Hot ass girlfriend? Check.
Talent? Check check.
Good looks? Check check check.
A shirt that says "Get Off My Dick"? Check.
A trip around the world? Check.
An Elephant? Check.
I'm not powerful enough to give you the things you probably really want. Like making the pappz leave you alone...and I can't change the fact that your face is so well known.
If I could grant you a superpower, it would be the power to be invisible.
But if I got the chance to give you one thing. It would be something that combines my likes with your likes.
I would channel my best RKelly and in grand-karaoke-off-key-pitchy-style, I would sing Bump N Grind...for you, for your birthday. Then we could kick back at the bar, you could have a Heineken...I'd take a Captain and Coke. I would also use my kung-foo skillz on anyone who tried to interrupt your R&R. I'm not above cutting a bitch...especially when it comes to you.